“Hello, Sam. How are you?”
I stared at her eyes. She was up to something, I knew it. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know what it was, though.
I had learned long ago that Angel was practically a force of nature. A force to be reckoned with. She was beautiful, but every rose had its thorns.
“I’m fine, thank you. How are you?”
She smiled softly.
“Wonderful. Jason and Jasmine make an adorable couple, don’t they? It’s like they belong together. Don’t you think?”
She looked up at me innocently. My suspicions increased. She was definitely up to something. But what was it?
“Yeah, I suppose they do.”
I looked at them for a long while, remembering the moment when I shot that bastard when he was trying to rape Jasmine over there. Jason and I had resolved our differences since then. We weren’t the best of friends or anything, but we weren’t sworn enemies, either. He hadn’t really forgiven me for breaking his sister’s heart, but he had been able to let it go a little bit, since I did save the love of his life, and all.
Looking at them made me think of Holli. My lovely Holli. She had been so small, so fragile. So beautiful. Her red hair had been so silky and I still wake up from dreams of her, my hand fisted in her hair, my body against hers…
But then, in the dream, she always turns into what he made her. Her body lying on top of me, her clothes torn to pieces, and her throat slit. Her body ripped and used. And her lifeless eyes, eyes that I had seen light up with laughter and wallow in misery, stare down at me, without feeling, without emotion, without love. Her blood is still sticky and fresh, staining my body, and spreading all around me.
I always wake up sweating, disgusted and in desperate agony.
I looked back to Angel. I smiled a little forlornly. Yes, I knew she loved me. And I could feel her pain only too well. I’d felt that feeling of heart break myself. Only mine had been completely final. No hope. She still has hope that I could love her. That I could accept her.
But I can’t. I don’t want her to end up like Holli. I care for her too much to love her. I could never do that to her. Never.
She looks up at me suddenly, seeing the smile and the forlorn look in my eye. Her face screws up in confusion. Damn, but she’s adorable.
“Problem, honey?”
My whole body jerked with that single word.
Problem, honey? Honey?
I remember those words coming out of Holli’s mouth. It had only been a few weeks before she was murdered. No one had died yet. Nothing had changed yet. I had been thinking about how much I loved her. How I wanted to propose to her in her favorite place in her garden one day. How I was going to tell her how much I loved her. I was worried it might ruin our friendship, ruin what we already had. But I wanted her so desperately, so completely. I didn’t think I could live without her.
I was very nearly right.
Oh, yes. I’ve thought about suicide. I’ve thought about it so many times since her death, it has become almost normal. Like something that everybody does. Nothing to worry about. The only thing that has kept me going all this time, was thoughts of revenge, of hate. Of blowing that monster’s brains out, and ridding the world of such ugly scum. Avenging her death was the only thing that’s kept me alive all this time. And now that I’ve finally done that, I might have committed suicide, too. But then I look around at my friends, I just can’t do it. I can’t leave them behind, vulnerable, just like Holli. I had to be there to help them. I couldn’t be selfish and go to my Holli, I had to stick around and try to keep all of them alive. It was a constant weight on my shoulders.
I stared into Angel’s ice blue eyes. She was more vulnerable than any of them. So fragile, so weak, yet so beautiful, so stubborn. Just like Holli.
That was why I avoided her. The memories. The likenesses between her and my lost love. I couldn’t deal with the pain. The remorse. It had been all my fault Holli died. I wasn’t going to put Angel in the same position, ever.
I finally got around to answering Angel’s question, pulling myself out of my inner musings.
“No. No problem, Ange. I’m fine. But I just remembered, I have to go pick up my sister from a job interview.”
I set down the glass of soda I’d long forgotten about, so immersed in my memories was I.
I turned to go, but I was stopped by a hand on my sleeve. I turned my head back to Angel, impatient to get away from her and her gentle, but not subtle, seduction.
“I’ll come with you. I need to talk with Elizabeth about a few things.”
I remembered, belatedly, that my sister and Angel had grown close of late. I sighed. There was no help for it. And, besides, after what happened to her friends in New Hope, Alabama, she hasn’t had the guts to have any. I was grateful to Angel for trying to bring her out of her shell.
“Sure, Ange. Let’s go.”
I turned back around, not sparing her another glance as I walked out the door. And headed towards a hellish ride.
Riding in a closed space with a hot babe bent to your seduction can be nothing short of torture. Good thing I’m strong.
I look over the hood of my car at Angel’s face. True to her name, she really did have an angelic appearance. Thin and fragile looking, almost like porcelain, delicate and so breakable, she had a dramatically dellinated face, with high cheekbones, ice blue eyes that were always twinkling with innocence. I didn’t think she could ever be anything less then innocent. She had long, blonde hair that fell down her back in beautiful waves, and today she was wearing a white blouse that showed a hint of her gorgeous tits, and a white mini skirt that showed her gorgeous mile-long legs to the world. She sparkled in the sunlight with an almost ethereal beauty. Like a diamond.
Oh, please, let me be strong enough.
TO BE CONTINUED...